Growing up for me wasn’t an easy experience due to the fact I had loads to worry about.
Not because I wanted to worry about those things, but because most of the things I worry over was a result infliction from my fellow human “Nitpickers”, and societal pressure mainly in this part of the world where human beings are quick to give unsolicited advice, so one can make you have more troubles with yourself and it becomes difficult to differentiate between envy and advice. In this case, you no longer do things the way you need to but how people see and expect you to do it, you don’t live how it pleases you but how people want you to live.
In Nigeria, humans are quick to use bad phrases on others, however, find it hard to encourage them. They will tell you how large your nose looks but ignores your sexy eyes, they’ll tell you “you are fat” however fail to inform you how lovely you are. You may not know what happens to a lot of people after listening to this, some will begin to lose self-confidence, and inferiority complex will set in. So a whole lot of humans will grow up not figuring out that stunning part of them but keep comparing themselves with the distinctiveness of others, which may affect them from discovering their real self and continuously make them see much less of themselves.
It took me time to realize how beautiful I am due to the fact that all I got from people around me were words that demeaned me, words that made me see much less of myself. I was reminded of being short but wasn’t reminded of having a pleasant body however the frame has always been there. Those things almost broke me down because I allowed them to get to me. For my case, self-love and confidence came the moment I left my environment to another, however not all will be fortunate with that.
I always tell people that sometimes there is a need to change your environment because this alteration modified me a lot, I met real humans, who are well exposed and who see matters differently. I later realized that a number of the things people made evil and mockery of were not as bad as I thought, and then there were lots about me that I had to discover, I started an adventure of self-discovery and that became my breakthrough.
Now because I’ve been given reason to see things differently, I started seeing myself as the most excellent creature on earth. whenever I remember my past experience when growing up, I see how people were bent on destroying me, come on, if not destroying me how come they never told me the truth till I found out myself?. They made me accept as true, so looking beautiful was an indecent way of living. I never got to realize God’s handwork until God sent the right people. Sometimes if you don’t meet the right people in your life, you’ll keep thinking that certain things are made for a particular kind of individual.
I found out that those bad languages that would belittle anyone had been simply said to make me feel not good enough, not beautiful enough, and not fit to achieve certain things in life. The purpose was for me to feel like a nobody, dreamless, and accept it to be true about myself. When self-denial and condemnation come, it takes grace to see something good in yourself, these are some of the reasons humans feel depressed and in worst cases commit suicide. Many people are still in this mess, they suppose what they heard about themselves is what they are, they don’t dream big, they don’t aspire. Now in situations like this, identifying your specific features can be quite challenging because you feel worthless.
When your self-esteem is low, it will begin to affect your perception about yourself and life in general. Always remember that there are people who’re ready to talk you down. However, how you accept it matters, that is the reason why you need to guide your thoughts, mind the things you listen to, weigh them before allowing a few into your life. You don’t need approval from people, you’ve been seeking approval ever since you were a child and up till this stage of your life, you are still imprisoned with such attitude.
Seeking approval from humans will only make you see your lacks but will never help you perceive the beautiful part of you. There were times in my life I wanted approval from people in almost everything I do, I needed the approval to put on clothes, approval to attend events and additionally to do other things. come on, you have to start living an awesome life by being in charge of yourself, you are a few steps away from getting back your confidence the moment you stop seeking approval.
Learn to love and accept yourself, learn to care for yourself because nobody will do it for you. Do things that make you happy and comfortable, say sweet things to yourself, be and remain positive. You have to change the way you think, begin to practice and wear confidence, When people know you have a tremendous mind, they tend to be more careful how they talk and treat you.
When people say bad things to me now, I simply act like I didn’t hear anything or as if nothing was said.
Not everything should be taken seriously especially things that can inhibit your performance, so you don’t have to take everything to the heart or allow people’s opinion to be the reason why you lose opportunities, trying to get people to approve everything you do will result in declining new opportunities.
Take time to identify your unique qualities and focus on them, discover those things you can do, be actively involved, and do it happily. Identify your unique body parts and appreciate them, remember everybody has this uniqueness in them. The reason why knowing a number of this stuff is very important is that it gives you this level of confidence, a sense of self-love, and appreciation.
Note, it is a waste of time and energy comparing yourself with others, when you do, the strength of the character you compare yourself with, turns into the weakness you constantly see in yourself. The perfection you notice in others is just a part of them that seems right as it relates to you, if you are to walk through the back then you’ll see imperfections, many people will only allow you to see what they want you to see about their lives. Focus on your unique qualities and allow them to build your confidence. You don’t need to live up to people’s expectations, because seeking approval will make you lose your voice. If you can learn to love yourself and pay attention to things that matter to you then you will understand you don’t need approval from people and it will help you to stop comparing yourself with others